I haven't posted here in almost a month. I just haven't felt inspired to write about anything. I haven't been doing too poorly, but I haven't been doing too well, either. I've fallen off the exercise wagon, but the food wagon has been OK. A bumpy ride, I've fallen off a couple times, but I keep getting back on.
I'm inspired to write today, though, because I listened to a fantastic radio program on Bioneers this morning (I get it on CIUT) about sugar and fat and their connection to emotional issues, specifically in children but also in adults. It was a great show because the speaker, Margaret Adamek, spoke in a way that was easy to understand. Sometimes I read books about nutrition and emotional issues and I don't fully grasp what I'm reading because the terms used, the language used, are beyond a layman's understanding. The way Adamek spoke, it was easy to understand, and the connections between nutrition and biology were crystal clear.
It was also clear that I am a food addict. I know I mentioned in my very first post that the reason I started this blog was to confront my eating disorder (or to just confront the fact that I HAVE an eating disorder, period,) but I think it's not just an eating disorder, it's also a food addiction. And not just an overeating addiction, but an actual chemical addiction to the food I eat. Specifically the foods high in sugar and carbohydrates. This became clear when my first reaction to avoiding fast food, as talked about in this show, was "No WAY could I give up my fast food for good!" and I started to feel a bit panicky. It was an epiphany: this is also how I used to feel about cigarettes, and obviously I was addicted to those. It's a bit overwhelming, realizing that not only am I battling an eating disorder, but also a food addiction; how much can one person battle? Do I have any hope at all of overcoming these massive obstacles??? But as I always say, the more knowledge you have, the better chance you have of succeeding. You can't succeed if you don't know what the problem is.
I strongly STRONGLY recommend everyone listen to this radio program. This link only shows you how to find the program, but I'm sure if you dig around a bit you can find a link to the entire show elsewhere.
Showing posts with label eating disorders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eating disorders. Show all posts
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Binge-Eating Disorder (Compulsive Overeating)
I didn't read this until tonight. Meaning, I diagnosed my symptoms on my own and came to the conclusion that I have an eating disorder. So while I feel like I've earned bragging rights for proper diagnosis, it makes me feel a bit sad and disheartened to read this, to see that yes, I 100% fit the profile for a compulsive binge eater.
Main Features of Binge-Eating Disorder
* binge-eating: eating a large amount of food within a set period of time (e.g. within any two hour period), an amount of food that is larger than most people would eat during a similar period of time and under similar circumstances
* feeling a sense of lack of control over eating during a binge (e.g. feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating)
* no purging (attempts to get rid of food eaten) following a binge
Behaviors Associated with Binge-Eating
* repeated occurrences of binge eating not followed by purging
* eating unusually large amounts of food, to the point of feeling physical discomfort
* feeling a sense of being "out of control" while eating, taking other people's food, stealing, eating discarded food and/or searching desperately for food
* eating to feel temporary emotional comfort, driven to eat for pleasurable feelings
* feeling agitated, wanders/paces up and down during binges
* eating in secret or alone, embarrassed about bingeing behavior
* feeling distress, depression, shame, revulsion/disgust after overeating
* eats rapidly and may experience an "altered state of consciousness" (trance-like); people often watch TV or listen to loud music to distract them during binges
eating between and beyond meal times, snacks excessively
* intense urges or cravings to eat particular foods
* low self-esteem/self-image, over concern about shape and weight, trying to diet due to guilt
Triggers
* being alone, isolated, workaholic lifestyle, lack of structure in the day
* personal problems (e.g. breakup with a partner, death of a loved one, losing a job)
* involved with critical, non-nuturing relationships causing low self-worth and stress
* unpleasant feelings i.e. feeling anxious, frustrated, bored, tired, upset, depressed, abandoned, rage
* gaining weight, feeling fat
* dieting, breaking a diet, feeling hungry, drinking alcohol
Emotional Consequences
* feeling helpless, loss of control, lonely, guilty, regretful, confused, distressed
* low self-esteem, depression
* self-punitive thoughts/blaming oneself e.g. "I'm a failure"
Binge eating disorder often begins in adulthood as a response to overwhelming, painful experiences or feelings inside. Binge-eating is also more common in adults who are larger in size. People who are average weight, or underweight also binge-eat. Men and women are affected, African-Americans appear to be at risk as much as Caucasians and it affects people in a wide age-range, from twenty to fifty years. By overeating, a person may try to dampen, suppress and deal with feelings and emotions such as anxiety, anger, depression, emptiness, frustration, low self-esteem, fear and/or guilt. Binge-eating can start a vicious cycle as a person begins to binge-eat because they feel badly inside, followed by dieting/fasting, which often leads to another binge episode.
Sheena's Place - Binge-Eating Disorder (Compulsive Overeating)
Main Features of Binge-Eating Disorder
* binge-eating: eating a large amount of food within a set period of time (e.g. within any two hour period), an amount of food that is larger than most people would eat during a similar period of time and under similar circumstances
* feeling a sense of lack of control over eating during a binge (e.g. feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating)
* no purging (attempts to get rid of food eaten) following a binge
Behaviors Associated with Binge-Eating
* repeated occurrences of binge eating not followed by purging
* eating unusually large amounts of food, to the point of feeling physical discomfort
* feeling a sense of being "out of control" while eating, taking other people's food, stealing, eating discarded food and/or searching desperately for food
* eating to feel temporary emotional comfort, driven to eat for pleasurable feelings
* feeling agitated, wanders/paces up and down during binges
* eating in secret or alone, embarrassed about bingeing behavior
* feeling distress, depression, shame, revulsion/disgust after overeating
* eats rapidly and may experience an "altered state of consciousness" (trance-like); people often watch TV or listen to loud music to distract them during binges
eating between and beyond meal times, snacks excessively
* intense urges or cravings to eat particular foods
* low self-esteem/self-image, over concern about shape and weight, trying to diet due to guilt
Triggers
* being alone, isolated, workaholic lifestyle, lack of structure in the day
* personal problems (e.g. breakup with a partner, death of a loved one, losing a job)
* involved with critical, non-nuturing relationships causing low self-worth and stress
* unpleasant feelings i.e. feeling anxious, frustrated, bored, tired, upset, depressed, abandoned, rage
* gaining weight, feeling fat
* dieting, breaking a diet, feeling hungry, drinking alcohol
Emotional Consequences
* feeling helpless, loss of control, lonely, guilty, regretful, confused, distressed
* low self-esteem, depression
* self-punitive thoughts/blaming oneself e.g. "I'm a failure"
Binge eating disorder often begins in adulthood as a response to overwhelming, painful experiences or feelings inside. Binge-eating is also more common in adults who are larger in size. People who are average weight, or underweight also binge-eat. Men and women are affected, African-Americans appear to be at risk as much as Caucasians and it affects people in a wide age-range, from twenty to fifty years. By overeating, a person may try to dampen, suppress and deal with feelings and emotions such as anxiety, anger, depression, emptiness, frustration, low self-esteem, fear and/or guilt. Binge-eating can start a vicious cycle as a person begins to binge-eat because they feel badly inside, followed by dieting/fasting, which often leads to another binge episode.
Sheena's Place - Binge-Eating Disorder (Compulsive Overeating)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
We'll All Float On OK
After sharing this with a few of the people I trust, I came to realize that most of us have issues similar to mine. They may not have manifested themselves in the same way, but they're essentially the same issues, and often involve some sort of addiction. Most of it seems to come down to self destructive behaviour, which seems to be caused by control issues or self loathing (or both, or more.) I also realized that some people do have issues similar to mine, but you wouldn't know it, because our bodies look so different. It's amazing to me that someone who is thin could have the same struggles with food as I do. How is that possible? It doesn't make sense! I guess you don't have to be overweight, or anorexic, to have an eating disorder.
A new revelation today (wow, they're just coming left and right, aren't they?) - a friend pointed out that there are a lot of similarities between my current struggle and quitting smoking. Not just the fact that quitting smoking is so fucking hard, one of the hardest things you can do (for me it was the withdrawal; I never, not once, struggled with the urge to smoke, I struggled with the anxiety and depression that came with withdrawal. I kid you not when I say I was damn near suicidal,) and therefore if I was strong enough to do that, I am strong enough to do this, but also with relation to how your body feels afterward. I remember clearly the first time I noticed I could breath without difficulty, I could take in so much air in my lungs, and I felt...fantastic. My body felt fantastic. The difference was intense, and it was wonderful. This friend pointed out that my body will feel the same way once I start treating it better in this area. That never occurred to me, but it makes so much sense.
The last couple of days have been pretty successful. I haven't gorged myself once. I'm happy, but cautious. I know it's a cliche to say take things one day at a time, but that's what I have to do. So far so good.
A new revelation today (wow, they're just coming left and right, aren't they?) - a friend pointed out that there are a lot of similarities between my current struggle and quitting smoking. Not just the fact that quitting smoking is so fucking hard, one of the hardest things you can do (for me it was the withdrawal; I never, not once, struggled with the urge to smoke, I struggled with the anxiety and depression that came with withdrawal. I kid you not when I say I was damn near suicidal,) and therefore if I was strong enough to do that, I am strong enough to do this, but also with relation to how your body feels afterward. I remember clearly the first time I noticed I could breath without difficulty, I could take in so much air in my lungs, and I felt...fantastic. My body felt fantastic. The difference was intense, and it was wonderful. This friend pointed out that my body will feel the same way once I start treating it better in this area. That never occurred to me, but it makes so much sense.
The last couple of days have been pretty successful. I haven't gorged myself once. I'm happy, but cautious. I know it's a cliche to say take things one day at a time, but that's what I have to do. So far so good.
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